A rule of thumb I have found helpful: Don’t make decisions when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. The acronym HALT is one way to remember this. In each of these states, our ability to perceive what is really going on and make healthy judgments are impaired. My daughters call it “hangry” when people are hungry and snap at others over petty grievances. Some studies suggest driving tired can be more dangerous than driving drunk! When in one of these four conditions, it’s better to halt and take care of the real problem first before risking relationships, health, and property. Add on-going pandemic stress and fatigue to the mix plus reactionary political polarization, and it’s a wonder any of us can function without careening like a bowling ball in a glassware shop. By the grace of God, we made it through Christmas without smoke pouring out of every ear or tears from every eye!
It’s no wonder we can’t hear nuance. Nuance is trying to say multiple things at the same time. Nuance is when we say “I’m fine” but also “I really need someone to talk to.” It’s when teacher after teacher calls in sick and the principal tries to be upbeat in order to keep morale up but at the same time sound the alarm bell that help is needed. It’s when a building collapses and an inspector admits that he missed the cracks but that the department rushes its inspectors and needs to hire more. It's when a leader insists that both water conservation and augmentation are necessary to deal with a looming shortage.
When we are
stressed, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired we only hear one thing, not the multiple
things that need to be held together, and we react out of our own misperception
and misjudgment. We dismiss the person that needs to talk. We ignore the
principal’s plea for help. We get angry at the building inspector and forget
the need for more funding. We build plants to take salt out of water but keep
using water like it’s endless. It’s similar to when we are impaired by fatigue
or alcohol, we miss clues about what’s really going on and respond in ways that
are unhealthy to us and those around us.
One solutions
is to HALT, to stop and address the issues that impair us. But how do we do
that when the stress and fatigue of the pandemic are chronic and beyond our
control? Even if we use destressing techniques like meditation and prayer, even
if we get more sleep (which are all great ideas!), the basic problem doesn’t go
away.
In many ways,
the problem is similar to Sin (with a capital S), the endemic condition of
humanity. Our perception and judgment are always warped by Sin in ways we can’t
detect, and so we careen selfishly through our family, school, and work
sometimes only barely noticing the damage we leave behind.
God has shown
us the answer to Sin: Jesus. He takes the endemic human plague into himself and
dies on the cross. His resurrection is healing from Sin. God gives him to us as
grace, a gift in Baptism and Holy Communion, in our gatherings to receive
Christ in Word and Sacrament.
So, the
ultimate solution is grace, first a gift God gives to us, then a gift we give
to others. In the midst of our stress, hunger, anger, loneliness, and tiredness
we HALT and remember God’s grace towards us so we can be gracious to each
other.
Beginning with grace helps us hear nuance and to empathize. Grace loosens our tensed shoulders and slows our quick tongues. We hear a person’s reluctance to share pain openly. We hear the principal’s tender plea and want to help. We understand the inspector’s rush and encourage systemic change. We reduce our own consumption for water and encourage others to do the same. We hear the many things our neighbor says because we hear the love that God speaks even in stressful times.
Listening,
Pastor Peter
